How to take back your power in 5 easy steps
Are you feeling powerless? Like you’ve been around this block before, that this all looks way too familiar, and nothing is changing for the better? Are you tired and exhausted by the same conversations and complaints, and by the feeling that you’ve been on this Merry-Go-Round too long?
The solution is simple; the execution takes practice. Turn off your life autopilot and take direct control of your life. Get your power back through the choices you make to have the relationship and life you love.
The Same Old Thing
Did you know that 90% of what we know, we learned between birth and the age of seven? We learned to talk, to walk, about facial expressions and social interactions, how to be in relationships, who and what to trust, etc. What you may not know is that we also acquired our beliefs about ourselves, others, and life in that period of time. In other words, what we think of ourselves, how we trust and interact with others, and whether we believe that life is supporting us or not is programed into us early on. These learned beliefs are naturally what’s at work inside of us and directing our life autopilot. We take the same actions and experience the same results. So, if we’re not learning and growing in our beliefs, we’re stuck on autopilot and keep going around and around. So it’s no surprise when our relationships start to feel stale, stuck, limited and lacking love.
Choice Changes Everything!!!
If you want to stop feeling powerless, turn off your autopilot to get your choice back. As soon as you look at something differently and choose to take a different action, there are different results and consequences. Choices can dramatically improve your relationship.
When you choose to greet your partner with a kiss instead of a complaint, you get a very different reaction.
When you choose to say no to a request that you really don’t want to deal with, you’re loving yourself more.
When you choose to do something nice for someone just because you love them and don’t expect anything in return, you’ve really deepened the connection and love between you.
When you choose to take what someone says or does, not as a criticism or a complaint, but as valuable feedback to help you understand what’s important to them, you grow and deepen your relationship.
Choice enables you feel less powerless and to constantly improve your relationships and your life.
Stop Feeling Powerless: Follow 5 easy steps to take back your power and create the fun and Love you want.
Step 1 – Choose to Respond, not React
Practice not reacting but responding to people and situations by reminding yourself that you always have a choice in what you say and how you act. Slow down, pause, ask yourself what outcome you would like, challenge your beliefs, don’t assume, and be curious before responding. When you are intentionally deciding how you want to act and what you want to create, you start taking actions that will help you create the life you love. You’ll be amazed how people treat you differently and how the trust, connection, and love deepen.
Step 2 – Choose to Know and Love Yourself
Since you can only receive and give love to the extent you truly love yourself, you want to love yourself deeply. Exercise your choice to respond in ways that are informed by your feelings, needs, and (most importantly) by what you want to create going forward. Make sure to ask yourself, “What am I feeling, what do I need, and what do I want?” Then, choose what you’ll do.
Step 3 – Take 100% responsibility
The most positive changes come when you don’t assume or judge someone or something else for what’s happening, and you own that you had a part in making it happen. Consider what happened from different points of few and you’ll be surprised what you’ll learn. Take an honest look at how your past actions helped create the situation. Now capture and benefit from that learning by committing to do things differently in the future.
Step 4 – Believe in Yourself
Ask yourself, “Are my beliefs supporting and helping me to be my best version of myself?” If not, it’s time to update them. Be open to questioning the feelings and fears that have informed your actions in the past. Choose new beliefs like: you are lovable just the way you are, you are a gift to the world and don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you have special gifts to share which others need, you have very important feelings, needs and wants and they should be important to those who love you, and you are perfectly imperfect just the way you are.
Step 5 – Follow Your Heart
In order to follow your heart, you want to get in touch with it. Make time regularly in your life (first thing in the morning is recommended) to take contemplative walks, journal, meditate, etc. You want to pause and take a good look at what your heart says you are feeling, what your needs are, and what you want. Look at the choices you’ve been making (Steps 1 – 4). Notice what feels good and what doesn’t. Capture the golden learning in what choices are not working well and make new choices going forward. You will continue to love yourself more while you deepen your trust, connection, joy, and love in your life.
Putting the 5 steps to work for you sets you on a path of continuous improvement with more growth, learning, fun, love, and joy in your life. Take back control from your autopilot and start creating the relationship and life you love.
I offer my services as an expert transformational life coaches that quickly and efficiently provides the training, practice, and experience to create a great 5 Star relationship. I believe and have seen with my many clients that investing in learning about yourself and how to have a great relationship has the greatest Happiness and love ROI (Return ON Investment). Once you get it, you have it for the rest of your life.
