It’s not about your finances, it’s not about your job, it’s not about your health...
It’s about your two most intimate relationships: the one with your partner and the one with yourself.
The first part of this article may be a get a little serious and even touch a nerve or two. Hang in there to get to the good stuff at the end. It’s more than worth it.
Since the beginning of time – and until only recently because of our upbringing and society – talking about the quality, the connection, the love and the issues with our partner, spouse, or lover has been difficult; discouraged and frowned upon.
It’s been like it’s a contagious disease and if we talk about it, we’ll get infected. We will be infected with dissatisfaction, loneliness, frustration, helplessness, sadness, etc. We shy away from talking about what’s going on in our relationships, thinking that we’ll avoid becoming part of another broken relationship or become part of the 50% of first-time marriages that end in divorce.
The exact opposite is true. It is through open, honest, authentic, and vulnerable conversations that relationships heal and grow stronger.
I want to break the myths of silence associated with relationships. Especially for men. I want to affirm that your, yes your feelings, needs, and wants do matter – they matter a lot. They are – and should be – very important to you, to those who love you, and to who you love.
Let’s get real. Did you know that, depending on which study you look at, around 80% of all divorces are initiated by the lady in the relationship?
Do you know why? Based on the stereotypical gender roles used in the studies, it’s believed that in general, it’s the lady who is more in touch with her feelings, needs, and wants – and thus gets to the breaking point first.
The breaking point is where she feels terrible enough that she feels she must do something, or she will “just” die. That something usually starts with a phrase like, “this can’t continue”.
Conversely, typically, the man, who in his mind is trying to hold it all together by just keepin’ on keepin’ on and trying to just keep going while minimizing or ignoring his difficult feelings, unhappiness, and frustration is blindsided when his lady says, “this can’t continue”. I can confirm the studies’ results because that’s exactly what happened to me, before my divorce.
Typically, the man is blaming others or circumstances and he can’t understand why they both can’t just keep on working at it. At some point on the slippery slide down, usually either or both people start to do things to escape, like excessively hanging with friends, drinking, exercising, having an affair, partying, etc. He or she is not around to be in or to work on the relationship.
This is when communication, trust, connection, respect, friendship, and lastly commitment begin to fade and may even disappear if it goes on long enough.
The key point is that in truth, both people are sliding towards reaching a point of exhaustion, hurt, frustration, and loneliness; a point of no return for the relationship.
But all is not lost…
Now for some great news: the sliding downwards can be reversed.
In the last 10 years, there has been a lot research and studies done to understand healthy and happy relationships, along with how to create and sustain them. The results have been profound. Now the information, training, and techniques are just becoming readily available, pretty much to everyone.
Please understand that if you haven’t been exposed to, learned, or practiced these new relationship techniques and practices, then you are likely to continue repeating the mistakes of the past over and over again. There’s no need to worry, though, as these techniques are all very learnable, and you just need to start putting them to work for you.
I, in partnership with another coach, developed a system of 18 important and interrelated relationship elements (we affectionately call them Relements). The system is specifically designed to – and works to help you – create the relationship and life you love.
The first 6 Relements are the Principles of personal development and growth. They are the Principles of
- Power of Choice
- 100% Responsibility
- Being Happy
When you go into to each of these and see their impact on you and those you love, you learn who you really are. It’s not who you’ve been, it is all about who you want to be going forward. Mastery of the Principles enables you to show up as your true self, authentically, vulnerably, and being open to learning and growing to be your best self for yourself and others.
The second 6 Relements are the Virtues of relating to others. They are the Virtues of
Looking into and understanding how each of the Virtues are showing up in your relationships is a very informative and transformative experience. Knowledge and mastery of the Relements of Virtue enables you to show up in relationships and in life the way you want others to show up with you. It also helps you to have clear boundaries about what’s okay in your relationships and what’s not.
The final 6 Relements are the Practices of being in a healthy, happy, and loving relationship. These Practices are
- Quality Time
- Common Interests
- Physical Intimacy
- Understanding Self and Partner
- Shared Vision
These Practices are a set of tools and techniques that enable you to create and maintain deep connection, fun, love, intimacy, joint activities, mutual support and encouragement, and a joint empowering vision. Putting the Practices to work in your relationship and mastering them while combining them with the learning from the other 12 Relements empowers you to create and maintain the deeply connected, loving, and happy relationship and life you love.
This program is available as 12 weekly sessions or an all-day workshop Relationships 2.0 – Learn, Practice and Put in Action the Secret Formula to Create the Relationship and Life You Love. I will go over in detail with you each of the 18 Relements and their related workbook exercises. This workshop will empower you to create a new, happier, and more loving 2.0 Relationship, not just make few mods to your 1.0 Relationship.
This will be a truly transformative workshop experience and it is my belief that you will leave with a new and much deeper perspective and understanding of your partner’s and your feelings, needs, and wants, as well as of who you really are, and of your relationship and the relationship you’re creating together. I am committed to you leaving with new knowledge, practices, and techniques that will enable you to create the relationship and life you love.
I am looking forward to working with you and sharing the transformative secret formula utilizing the 18 powerful Relements. I hope you can join me for this transformative experience!
I offer my services as an expert transformational life coaches that quickly and efficiently provides the training, practice, and experience to create a great 5 Star relationship. I believe and have seen with my many clients that investing in learning about yourself and how to have a great relationship has the greatest Happiness and love ROI (Return ON Investment). Once you get it, you have it for the rest of your life.