When most people think of divorce, they think of messy courtroom battles and bitter fighting. But times are changing, and couples are rethinking the way they dissolve their marriages. Rather than putting themselves and their families through the stress and heartache of a traditional divorce, many couples are going the Conscious Uncoupling route.
Katherine Woodward Thomas, licensed marriage and family therapist, is the mind behind the conscious uncoupling concept and blueprint. Her Conscious Uncoupling book is a New York Times bestseller and has helped many couples choose a more cooperative and collaborative approach to parting ways.
Many couples, including actress Gwyneth Paltrow and former husband Chris Martin, are following Katherine’s 5-step process to uncouple and start creating their “Happily Even After”.
Here’s how couples are incorporating Conscious Uncoupling into their divorces.
The traditional divorce route is both expensive and stressful for everyone involved. Mediation trades an attorney for a mediator, allowing you to resolve issues with your soon-to-be former partner and come to an agreement.
Mediators aren’t like lawyers. They don’t make decisions or offer advice. They simply help divorcing couples figure out what’s best for their situation.
Conscious Uncoupling Coach
To truly unlock the benefits of unconscious coupling, couples work with a Conscious Uncoupling Coach.
Coaches work closely with couples to help them part ways with kindness and respect. Rather than pointing fingers and arguing, couples – with the guidance of their coach – follow a 5-step process to end their relationship with as little stress and trauma as possible.
Conscious Uncoupling Coaches also help couples work together to let go of old agreements and to create new agreements that will set all parties up for success and happiness.
Some couples still want to get lawyers involved, but they don’t want to get involved in courtroom battles. Collaborative law allows couples to handle their divorce outside of court.
Both parties retain attorneys, and they sign agreements pledging to settle their issues without litigation.
Collaborative divorces are gaining in popularity, but they still have their downsides. Typically, the process involves many parties – including divorce coaches, financial experts and child specialists – who all work together to help couples find a resolution.
Mindful Custody Arrangements
Conscious Uncoupling isn’t just about the couple themselves. It’s about the entire family. Divorce is stressful for the couple that’s splitting up, but it’s just as – maybe more – stressful for the kids.
For this reason, more couples are approaching custody arrangements with awareness and mindfulness. Emerging trends in custody agreements include:
- 50/50 split, where both parents share custody of the child and are both actively involved in making decisions for the child. As the name suggests, the child spends equal amounts of time with each parent.
- Nesting, which is a newer concept. Instead of forcing the children to shuffle between homes, the kids stay put and the parents take turns moving in and out of the home. This arrangement, although complicated, is less disruptive for kids.
More parents are taking careful consideration of how custody arrangements will affect their children psychologically. Their approaching these decisions from a place of respect and in the spirit of cooperation to put the children first has a profound positive impact on the children’s long term health and happiness.
Conscious Uncoupling makes the divorce process less stressful and traumatic for all parties. Working with a Conscious Uncoupling Coach, like myself, can help you truly understand and reap the benefits of this approach to divorce.