Relationships impact our lives every single day.
Relationships have a very powerful impact on the quality and happiness of our everyday life!
I was thinking about how our relationships can have such a (not big but) huge impact on how we’re feeling on a daily basis or even hour to hour! About how they can take us on a crazy all-consuming emotional rollercoaster ride. Great highs of love, trust and connection with lots of wonderful excitement and then super scary transitions to feeling alone, not good enough, sad, not valued, unloved, etc. Up and down we can go and when it happens, a big up or down, it likely becomes the only thing that we focus on, good or bad.
I can remember how amazing I felt when I met and was dating my former wife. How great it was at times when we were first married and then raising our four kids.
Then things started to change and the tensions started. They had been building for a while, but around year ten of my marriage we started having lots of serious relationship issues.
We were both in a lot of pain & emotional hurt, feeling very sad, scared, alone, unloved, unappreciated, and not valued to mention just the big ones. We tried to work on it ourselves, then we individually went for counseling and together to couples counseling for over 2 years.
How did that work out? Just before our 15-year anniversary the divorce was final.
It was another 3+ years before I was able to be happy in another relationship. I noticed this pattern in my relationships. Patterns of wonderful highs and excitement at the beginning. Always better at the beginning.
I’ve learned hormones like Oxytocin, Dopamine, and Adrenaline are a big part of that. Who knew…
In several of my post-divorce relationships things would still be good even as the highs came down to more everyday levels while at the same time issues seem to keep coming up and not getting completely resolved. It was the issues that weren’t resolved that kept building and eventually lead to a breakup.
I was in a relationship with an amazing lady for almost six years. We had wonderful chemistry and yet we must have broken-up and got back together more than 6 times before it was really over. Speaking of “over”, why was this happening over and over. It is the patterns. The same things that caused the tensions that led to the end of my marriage were still unresolved.
The Rearview Mirror
I look back and can see there have been long stretches in my life where I have lived in fear, sadness, loneness, and even mild depression because of the way a relationship was going or how it had gone. I was so sick and tired and feeling hopeless about relationships that I spent years studying about them and learning about myself. I wanted to understand how to have a great relationship, a 5 Star rated relationship.
What I didn’t know was that there is information and techniques available that make that a reality. I now can see how and why my past relationships went the way they did and I’m actually friends with all my previous partners.
Because of all my studying, life experience, and techniques I’ve learned, what I’m so happy about now is that I’m in the best relationship of my life and I’m super excited about the life we’re creating together.
Nothing gets better without some work and a focus on resolving old patterns. Unresolved, your relationships will keep following the same path with the same results.
I offer my services as an expert transformational life coaches that quickly and efficiently provides the training, practice, and experience to create a great 5 Star relationship. I believe and have seen with my many clients that investing in learning about yourself and how to have a great relationship has the greatest Happiness and love ROI (Return ON Investment). Once you get it, you have it for the rest of your life.